Study Finally Links Small Penises To Desire For Fast Cars
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Men convinced their penises are smaller than average show more interest in fast, sporty rides, according to a recent University College London study. Entitled “Small Penises and Fast Cars: Evidence for a Psychological Link” and co-authored by Daniel Richardson, Joseph Devlin, and John Hogan, the inquiry manipulated male study subjects’ view of their genital size compared to other men using fake data, followed by asking them to rate the desirability of a sports car.
The experimenters concluded that the less men judged their own factory equipment as adequate for attracting mates or proving their manliness, the more they would want flashy sports cars. In short, attractiveness to females and improved self-esteem were assumed as primary motives pushing the less well-endowed to want fast cars.
The experimenters introduced several controls into their study in an effort to erect a framework of repeatable scientific results. Some of the 200 research participants were told average male penis length is 18 centimeters, or seven inches, while others were informed 10 centimeters, or four inches, is typical. Five inches is the actual average. The subjects then used a slider to rate how much they wanted fast cars. The participants were also presented with 11 other statistics, some correct and some incorrect, and other luxury goods, in order to conceal the true purpose of the study.
Young men under 29 apparently showed little statistical link between penis size and the hankering for fast cars. In the 30 years old or older group, however, “men who thought they had a relatively small penis rated the sports cars higher” according to page five of the study. Men led to believe they were unusually small rated sports cars highly even when quite elderly, while those convinced of being unusually well-endowed became less interested in fast cars the older they were.
Other luxury products besides fast cars didn’t measurably arouse the interest of participants convinced their natural specs fell short. The researchers noted further experiments could show if perceptions of wealth or intelligence are also linked to the “need for speed” among men. They also suggested that “perhaps there is just something specific linking cars and penises in the male psyche” (page seven).
Regardless of whether the study has or hasn’t proven decades of small penis jokes vis-a-vis sports cars, GM builds several models across its brands that could be described as “fast.” These include several Corvettes, including the Corvette C8 Stingray, Corvette C8 Z06, and the just-announced Corvette E-Ray. The Camaro range, including Camaro SS and Camaro ZL1, along with the Cadillac Blackwings – the CT4-V Blackwing and CT5-V Blackwing, plus the Escalade-V, would also qualify for the “fast” moniker.
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now do a study on choo-choo HD trucks and *missing* penises
Haha too true. If you drive a truck but don’t actually use the bed for anything, you are compensating hard. (Or perhaps soft)
And gym rat muscles with hats turned backwards.
This whole study was stupid you cant discredit every man ever who wanted a nice car to drive as having a small pecker that’s like saying any woman that uses makeup is ugly some people just work hard and want nicer things… but generally when you lack in one aspect somewhere you try to make up for it in another area it’s human nature but I don’t understand what was the goal of this study?
Either you didn’t read the article or you didn’t understand it, because they didn’t claim that every guy who’s ever wanted a fast car is smaller than average.
I see this as a good sign. I drive a 1st gen pilot as of current, so technically i should have a horse cock but since i dont that must mean i will have a sports car in the future 😏
Beta males with “Woke” ideologies interview hand picked individuals to draw a predicted results??? What a waste of tax dollars (or pounds in their case). That’s not research, it’s predicting.
Such a beta comment.
Chuckle, chuckle…. I had to check the calendar to make sure today was not April 1. 🙂
Ha! ha! – That’s the first thing that I thought, too! April 1 already??
One of the most asinine, ridiculous “study” I’ve ever heard of.
Looks like it touched a nerve with you for some reason..hmmm
Maybe he got out of Junior High a few years ago and matured after that.
Yes I would love a study on guys with trucks.
I own a 2021 3500 srw. All Stock. Even the factory 18 inch wheels and tires that came from factory. I tow a 10k trailer loaded, 90 percent of the time when I drive the truck.
Every day I see jacked up trucks with stupid wheels and skinny tires. And probably once a week getting fuel one of those bro diesel guys come over to me asking me why I haven’t jacked my truck up. I just let them know. That I need my truck for work and believe that if GM engineers want stupid jacked up truck with skinny tires they design them that way.
My truck is my daily driver. But I better mention since this was a car study. I do have a second vehicle thou that the drive around town when I don’t need the truck. It’s a 23 year old boxy but sexy Volvo wagon.
This article is ridiculous and full of false information.
What’s false and why?
Reasons why I drive a Chevy Spark
I wonder if the hung like a horse fellas be driving Chevy Sparks, Nissan Leafs or Toyota Prius only do so because that’s what they can afford. If they had millions of dollars sitting around they wouldn’t go buy a fast car? Because 7 feet tall athletes who make millions a year drive fast cars, and I’d be willing to bet a 7 feet athlete is more hung than any of us regular folks.
If you had $100 Million dollars to your name would you really be driving a Chevy Spark? Let’s be real.
The fast car they desired were only Fords.
As someone who daily drove a diesel smart fortwo for 12 years I can confirm this study is accurate.
Of course it is!!
As someone with a 700 HP LS7 swapped GTO and an Audi S3… So can I. :-/
Another study found men with the biggest penis don’t even own a car. They drive there “female version of a simp” girlfriends car when he drops her off at work. 😆
LMAOOOO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
You tripping bruh, but I can’t deny the accuracy. I’ve seen this.
Jokes aside though, I would love to see the same study where they look at someone’s IQ/education/income compared to pen15 size. Because from what I’ve seen, the most intelligent people are generally not known to be hung like a horse.
Now we know just who is buying EVs and why.
So guys driving minivans must have huge junk.
Nah bro, if you really want to flex your peepee size, sell all of your cars and ride a bicycle. 1 human power is less than 1 horse power, so if you ride a bicycle all the chicks will be lining up at your door bro. All fax no phone.
You know what. If this is the best you can do, you need to go back and finish Grammar school. Maybe stand around in the restroom and tell dirty jokes with the rest of the little boys.
So small penises are the contributing factor to climate change? My first car was a Geo Metro so you know what Im packing
Monumental bad taste.
The experimenters introduced several controls into their study in an effort to erect a framework of repeatable scientific results.
I see what you did here….lol
Chevy Camaro and the Chevy Corvette is the best, soooooo
One study showed that if you buy a Camaro or Corvette, your peepee doubles in size. But if you buy a Mustang or Challenger your peepee size gets reduced by half. All fax no phone.
That’s why Chevy is the best!
My tax dollars hard at work funding these life changing studies……
Where did you see the source of the funding?
I have a big one and a bunch of fast muscle cars. ???? Hmmmmmmm…………