America—land of excess! Where else can you find so much corn syrup, silicone, and self-promotion? So when Hummer limos started littering the streets of America 10+ years ago, we didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. But upon finding this double-axle 2008 H2 on eBay, we decided to jump up and down and cheer.
Why cheer? Because it takes the Hummer—itself an icon of excess to a segment of the population—and stretches it (pun not intended) to the nth degree . . . I mean, two axles in the rear? For real? USA! USA! With a wheelbase spanning 200 inches, this H2 is ready for an enterprising bloke to stop by the next Bar Mitzvah and carry the whole tribe (up to 24!) to the reception while they play with Xbox 360. If video games are not your thing, there are four other televisions to watch. Stay away from the bar if you’re underage, kiddos! And what’s better than to see a laser show while situated in custom three-tone ostrich leather seats? I know the next time I arrive in LGA, I want to be picked up in this.
Seller claims this Hummer is in perfect mechanical condition, with the dual battery, dual air-conditioning compressors, and dual alternators in perfect working order. With barely over 30,000 miles and a hair under 70 grand, this is a great business opportunity for someone. What’s holding you back?